Redemption Story

On my last post, I promised to start my story on the day I got born again. Here is that story.

After the birth of my son, I didn't know what was next. I decided that I would take one day at a time. If you knew me then you can attest to my don't care attitude. I never concerned my self with anything, I was for the notion that it would always sort itself out, whatever it was. I had decided if I was not to go back to school then I would stay home until my folks grew tired of me. Haha!

So when my Dad told me to and get the fee structure I was excited for two things. 1. I was going back to school and 2. I was getting my freedom back. I rejoined college in July of 2008 Alvin was now 1 year old so it was okay to leave him.

I was excited to go back to school and I was also sad that I was going to leave Alvin. But we had agreed with my parents that I would be in school from Monday to Friday and make sure that I  was home Friday.

I know you are now thinking that well she must have learnt her lesson by now so she should be a model student this time round. Well...... you thought wrong I was even worst than before I was drinking more, and getting into relationships that were offering me nothing.

I kept feeling like life had dealt me a bad hand and no matter how I played it there was no may I could come out on top. ( You know those pity parties we throw ourselves) But there was an emptiness I felt inside and it was growing deeper by the day. No amount of pleasure seemed to fill the void.

So on this particular Saturday  night on the 10th of April 2010,  with my friend Angie (Remember her?) we were planning to go out and party like we often did but this time, when we got to the school gate for some reason (Read Holy Spirit) we changed our minds and decided to go back and sleep and go to church the next day. When we got to the room we changed our minds again and decided to go out. When we got to the gate again we couldn't leave (Holy Spirit things) . This went on another 2 times until we finally decided to sleep and go to church the next day.

That Sunday morning I woke up at  6:00am, went to wake Angie up because I didn't want to be late for church. Chichie our other friend also said that she would come. We went to Citam Karen for the second service. (Imagine Angie got us late. 😃😃)

All I remember from that service was that the sermon was about Evangelism nothing else not even the pastor only that he was a He. When he was done with the sermon He made an alter call when He asked those who wanted to receive Christ to raise their hands, I didn't hesitate and immediately I did and said the repentance prayer believing in my heart and confessing with my mouth that Jesus Christ is God and that He died for me, all the emptiness I felt was filled with this overwhelming love and peace that I had never felt before and right there and then I knew that my life had changed.

After service Angie and Chichie asked me if I understood what I had just done and All I could do was smile. They gave me a few weeks and told me that I would backslide. Angie it's been 7 years now and am still in the Kingdom 😃😃😃. I should mention that she also got born again a few years later.

If you are walking this salvation journey you know that when we start we are like infants. The Bible also tells us this.

As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
1 Peter:2:2

I craved the world, I lived, breathed, talked and ate the word. I prayed about anything and everything. I never missed a day in church, I went for Morning Devotion, lunch hour meetings, Bible study and evening service. I loved it, Still do. I wanted to understand this God that took away all my pain. I wanted to grow deeper in Him and understand him for myself.

When I prayed, God answered my prayers. Whatever I asked of Him he blessed me with.

Months after I began this journey, ( I the Lord knew that I had grown enough to start weaning me) my baby daddy started calling me, remember I have not talked to him since 2009 and we are in 2010.

It was during one of our evening services, I got an international call that I didn't know and decided to step out to answer since service was ending. When I picked I was meet by yelling and insults some I can't even put down,

"YOU ARE NOT A GOOD MOTHER"
"YOU CALL YOURSELF SOMEONE'S MOTHER"

The call dropped but I knew who I was talking to. I cried my heart out. I asked God why He would allow such things to happen to me, I thought since I had accepted Him he would make this easier.
I talked to a friend Esther; she is the first person I talked to when I got born again. She encouraged me and prayed with me

For the next few weeks I would receive such calls and texts from him until one day I decided to be bold enough and call him out.

I asked him if I was the one who had denied him a chance to be in his son's life or was it Him? I told him that I had no problem with him getting involved all he had to do was come see my parents and accept responsibility.

This was in the last weeks of July. In August He texted me and told me that He would be landing in the next six hours.
After that SMS, I didn't here from him again until two weeks later.

I had attended a prayer meeting with my Friend Eddie. As I was praying I remember asking God to sort the matter out once and for all. Minutes later, I receive a call from a strange number I stepped out to pick(I know, I know am in church am supposed to be praying) and this is how that conversation went,
Him: "Hello, I arrived and I would like to see my son"
Me: "I have already told you what I need you to do to resolve all this"
He said okay and hung up, before I could step back in church he called again and asked me what time my dad got home I told him and he said that He would go see Him the next day.

I was both thankful and nervous to know how that would go. I went back to church and continued to worship.

The next day He called to let me know that him and a mzee friend of his had visited my dad and they would be coming home that Saturday officially to talk to my dad.

Immediately after my dad called me and asked me to get home that Friday.

Unannounced

So here is a recap.....

I met a guy,
Dated, broke up,
Met up again,
Hooked up,
Got pregnant,
Kept it secret,
Parents found out,
Gave birth.

Now I feel like we are all caught up 😂😂😂.

So remember I told you that the dad had said that he was ready to take up his part, in the parenting game......

After the baby was born ,for the first few months he use to bring me soup at home and made sure that he called often to check up on us. But there was a problem, He had never told his parents that he was a father. I begged him to tell his parents and mine but he said that he was not ready for his family to find out.

I got angry got his mother's number from his phone  and texted her that I was pregnant and her son was the father. DON'T JUDGE ME. From that day I never heard from him again.

Well a few months after that a mutual friend came home to see my son and he told me that my baby daddy was leaving for greener pastures abroad. I felt so hurt but I could do nothing about it. I chose to move on.

One day as I was coming home from school (ooh sorry! When my son was 1 year my parents took me back to college. Bless the Lord for them)  a car pulled up towards me and stopped a few meters from where I was standing, when they rolled down the window I couldn't believe my eyes...

Two years! I had not seen Him for two years, his son was now walking and he could even call him by his name but he  had never seen his father and here he was.

He said Hi and asked me how our son was doing? I told him that he was now all grown up. He asked if he could come visit and I agreed.( I know, stop judging me ☺☺)

So he came home, of course he first had to be sure that my parents were not around. He had bought him so many toys and I accepted them. I hadn't known that there was an issue with what I had done until My folks came home.

They were so angry that I had accepted the gifts and I was told to return the toys and tell Him that the child had not been eating toys for the last two years, I also can't believe I shared that haha.

I felt so embarrassed I decided not  to return them so I hid them at my friends place. "I can't believe that you gave them all out Angie"

My parents gave me instructions: If He wanted to see the baby He would have to come home and acknowledge that the baby was his. I told him what my parents had said but he refused to do.

He went back to work and never communicated with me again. This was in July of 2009. I went back to school and life went back to normal.

On the 11th of April 2010 at Citam Karen during the second service I gave my life to Christ (I will start with this story on the next blog).